Friday, May 18, 2012


Do you have a "Blamer" (negative/narcissist person) in your life, who makes you feel that you are always to blame, always your fault and nothing you do is ever right?
After spending time with this type person or just being associated with this person, makes you feel guilty, upset, emotionally exhausted, confused, useless and incompetent. This is a negative/narcissist person that is also known as a "blamer".
At first this narcissist person can be charming, very likable and very believing, without exposing their dark side. Then their dark side comes out which is the "blamer", their negative/narcissist personality. That is when you get hammered by their true personality (narcissist/negative) of them blaming you for everything wrong in their life, you are blamed for their mistakes and their deceptions/sins. Trying to be rational with this type person, show them you are hurt and innocent, does NOT work, it makes it even worse.
This type person is a "BLAMER", with a narcissist/negative personality. They blame others for anything and everything. They NEVER take responsibility or admit their wrong doings or their faults. This person is NOT an occasional blamer, they are a 24/ 7 continual blamer.
This blamer (narcissist/negative person) can appear to be very caring, charming, interested in you and others when you first meet them. It is not until later that you realize this relationship with this person is a nightmare from hell.
BEWARE: this blamer is the most destructive narcissist/negative person you can ever deal with, which will bring negative thinking and behavior into you and your life. This person will bring you anguish and distress as long as you associate with them.
This blamer can make you feel as though something is wrong with you, and if you were a better person  or smarter or nicer or just did the right things, then the relationship between you and the blamer would be better. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!! In dealing with the blamer you will come out feeling like it is all your fault, causing you depression, self loathing and self destructive tendencies. RUN, RUN, RUN!!!
The blamer (narcissist/negative person) does NOT see one thing wrong that they do. They believe they are always right and everyone else is wrong. The blamer thinks it is their duty to point out that everyone else is wrong, thinks they are helping by putting others down and telling them they are wrong, and by blaming others.The blamer (narcissist/negative person) has NO respect for others.
In their eyes they do NO wrong. The blamer loves only them self and no one else. They have no respect for them self or for others but they want to be respected, admired and envied.
Trying to defend and protect yourself from the blamer (narcissist/negative person) will only make the situation worse on you and they will attack you even more. If you try to point out your innocence or their wrong doings, they will attack you even more with a very explosive anger towards you. The blamer will even go as far as to set you up, make it appear to others that you are the evil one, everything is your fault and that they are innocent.
The blamer (narcissist/negative person) shows different sides of their personality/behavior to different people. They tend to flip behavior/personality; one minute everything is fine but the next minute they are angry.
The blamer will be highly admired by some people because they never see the blamer's dark side behavior/personality, that they are inflicting on their victims.
Blamers (narcissist/negative people) are very deceptive and manipulative at all times, not just occasionally.
If a blamer (narcissist) makes a mistake they tend to blame others immediately and start the attack on another person or persons before they can be caught in their wrong doings. The blamer (narcissist) sees NO wrong in lying and will lie when there is no need to lie. They throw their wrong doings onto others to cover up their evil/sins instead of admitting it and taking blame for their wrong doings.
The blamer (narcissist) can make you feel distressed, anxious, guilty and incompetent, after having to deal with them. The blamer (narcissist) can and will blame you even when you are no where in their life and have nothing to do with them. That is what a "Blamer" (narcissist) does, in order to try & make others think they are perfect and do no wrong. They have no regard and no respect for anyone or their feelings or their life.
A blamer/narcissist chooses their victims. When they are choosing their victims they are very calculating as to what they are trying to achieve with their bullying, manipulation and deception.
The blamer/narcissist can even manipulate and deceive experts, so do not blame yourself if you have fell into the trap of a narcissist person. Just cut off all communication and contact with this person, and run the other way just as hard as you can run!!!


  1. This is my husband. Been together for 21 years and is only on recent years that I noticed. But I am his only prey.

    1. I had the same experience with my now ex wife. She still hangs around and goes from nice to attacking. I'm out! It is just dangerous.

    2. I have been with my husband for 19 years and just realized the revelation of his ways this year.. I am his prey totally and it's so hard to be anxious worried when the next shoe will drop and what he will blame me for ...

    3. I am going thur this right now with my partner he does no wrong in his eyes i do everything wrong he can have outher guy come over sleep with them and blam me for it and its got me so depressed and so beatdown that i am starting to hate my self

    4. Hi Kat, Thank you very much for this article. It's exactly what I was going through with a long time girl friend. I had to pull myself away from a situation where she exploded at me, not my fault but admitted to me she was angry at her mom or what's st reason. I'm nobody's "punching bag" and if want to add scream go outside not at me!
      It was the best thing I did for myself!

      Thank you again Kat ♥️

  2. are you currently dependent on him for food/shelter/emotional support?

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Thank goodness I am out of that dangerous, belittling relationship. I'll call him JOE. We were together for 4 years. I lost my values, my self-respect, and close to losing my mind. He was the most terrible choice of a male that I ever chose. That relationship was the worse relationship of my life. I walked on eggshells around him. He had a very explosive temper. He'd name call and disrespect me more than anyone in my life. Joe lied to me and about me, stole off of me, slept with plenty of women, he would degrade me, never pay back money he owed me. When he exploded at me, he'd break all the phones in the house, so I couldn't call the cops. In the end, I had a breakdown, I literally lost my mind. I now know that was a blessing in disguise. He was the worse mistake of my life. Thankfully, he is no longer in my life, that was many years ago. The best thing about that relationship? Is that I will never let someone treat me like that again, and I've learned that when someone shows you who they really are, BELIEVE them. (an Oprah quote) I no longer have meaningless relationships in my life. Narcissists like Joe, seem to be very charming and funny. I was attracted to guys with a sense of humor, and he made me laugh. I now look at a man's character, not his humor. Life is too short, make good decisions. Thanks for letting me comment.

  5. Wow, I had a girlfriend that was a blamer. She got with me the week my wife passed away. I thought she was real, God this, God that. She wanted money and help. I helped her. For 3 years and got blamed for everything, constantly. From my family to parking the vehicles. When I try to conversate, I get put down and humiliated. She finally left me when she got her social Security, wow. God is good, amen. I can say. Do not deal with a blamer. Especially if you're in a relationship. They will suck the life out of you. Control, ���� run get away from them.

  6. How do you deal with it if it's a sibling and you're living in the same house with your parents. We all know the truth but how do we live and take care of such a person?

    1. It's very hard I've come to realize that I am going to have to walk out of my daughter's life witch really really hurts I do love her much but she's I feel hates me because she's nice when it's time for her needs other than that I am a piece of shit

  7. Wow this exactly describes this person. I didnt see it at first because they used there charm on me. Now there true colors show brightly.i didnt think at first a person would be capable of being thia way.

  8. I have a nephew who has now decided to blame all the ills of his childhood on his extended family... Is it possible he’s moved on to us because he wants to have some sort of relationship with his parents and wants to stop blaming them so much?? Regardless of his reasoning, it is very painful. I’m in shock and at a loss.

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